Are you the same you that existed ten, twenty, fifty years ago?

Existential angst + joy on a milestone birthday

Jul 20, 2026

Hi friends,

Yesterday, I turned 55, which feels like a significant milestone. It’s said that the older you get, the faster time goes, which seems to be backed up by science. My husband and I were talking this weekend about how he has memories from when he was very young, but he no longer identifies with the person he was then. On the contrary, I still feel very much like the same person trapped inside a weirdly aging body.

This birthday has served as a reminder to slow down and be intentional about what I say yes to. Today is my New Year’s Day and I’m recommitting to choosing to spend my time in meaningful ways.

Last week was full to the brim. Tuesday, I visited a friend in hospice. It was so nice to talk with her, made bittersweet by knowing it likely will be our last conversation. Thursday, some friends and I drove out to the desert to visit another friend. The four of us had a great time chatting over lunch and on the long drive there and back. Friday, as an early birthday activity, various friends and family joined me for our local Shakespeare in the Park’s performance of Twelfth Night. My bonus child, Ally, made the delicious cupcakes—chocolate orange, with oranges from the backyard. Saturday was a day trip with just my husband to a favorite bookstore and lunch spot in Fullerton, where I bought Viet Than Nguyen’s memoir, Man of Two Faces, on my list since I heard him read from it during UCR’s Writers Week this year. Then Sunday, my actual birthday day, we took my mom to see The Odyssey in the theater. (Yes, I thought it was good!) Lots of literary-inspired activities. So while I’m definitely feeling mortal, mostly I’m grateful for what I have, and for what lay ahead.

To close it out today, here are some sweet moments from the long birthday weekend:

Cupcake cheers-ing with friends and family at Shakespeare in the Park. (Yes, those headless torsos are both sons—Bradley, left, and Jacob, right—who attended willingly!)

A hand-made card from Pauline with a custom inscription taken from Twelfth Night: “Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?”

An adorable frame-worthy birthday collage from Aunt Mary. The card reads, “There’s a responsible adult in all of us but we can usually shut her up with a cocktail.”